Searching God’s Word for Guidance - by Susan Jensen

This winter has certainly been a real doozy. In my over 15 years working here, I don’t ever remember closing a church on a Sunday, but on December 22 we did just that, no power, no heat, no lights… no churchL.  And then to add insult to injury, let’s just throw in another winter super storm just a couple weeks later, and on January 5 we had a meager 259 people in attendance because of the large amounts of snow mixed with high winds and low temperatures. We discussed this at staff meeting, and quite honestly, we are glad that our congregation took precautions and used their best judgment as to whether to tackle the weather or not. But personally, being there in church this past Sunday, I have to say, anyone who missed it, missed a great message. (and no, I did not get an extra 20 in my paycheck for saying that J) Better yet, last Sunday’s message is the beginning of a very helpful series. (shameless plug here – you can listen to Rod’s message on our website by clicking on the podcast button, or if you prefer, pick up a paper copy from the rack by the Worship Center this weekend to catch up, we are printing a few extras.)

Over the Christmas break I was talking with one of our daughters about a recent conflict with someone who had become a great friend over the past few months. The two girls had become really close doing so much together. Then without warning, the new friend, Kathie, did something that both hurt and disappointed her.  She began to question why her friend would do such a thing, and even questioned if they were really even friends at all.

As we talked about the situation, one thing became very obvious. They had become such quick and close friends that our daughter didn’t see any flaws in Kathie. They have both been working very hard to help others and she saw only the amazing characteristics in her friend. 

As our conversation continued we could begin to see that she probably placed unreal expectations on Kathie. In reality, at some point or another, people will let us down. And if we are honest with ourselves, given time, we will always disappoint others. It doesn’t mean that the friendship is any less than we imagined, it just means we are all truly human. Our relationship with God is the only relationship we will ever have that can be perfect - at least on His part ;)

A second realization was that we put expectations on the behaviors of others, and if we fall into that trap we start to assume how they will react to us, how we will then respond to them and before we know it we are imagining how bad everything can spin from there. We have all done that. 
We think ‘well if I say this… she is just going to say that… cause she did do that one time… so how can this be any different.’  Unfortunately when we begin role playing in our mind we tend to get a little sure that we are right and the other person is wrong. Then when we get into a real conversation with the person we are in conflict with, we tend to enter the conversation with a chip already on our shoulder. Things rarely ever turn out good from there.

We have so often hear it said ‘let go and let God’ and that’s all well and fine, and maybe we can even bring ourselves to do that - once. The reality is though, in any relationship one time is not enough, we don’t just hand things over to God once and done. That would work if hurt feelings didn’t replay in our minds, but they do. Letting go and letting God isn’t a one-time thing, it’s an over and over again thing that we need to do as often as necessary until we truly let go of it.

 A third nugget we unpacked was our daughter’s habit of walling people out. There was a really close relationship in her past that seemed to promise to be a lifelong connection, but it took unexpected turns and she dealt with it by turning her back on it and not looking back. It was the only way she could deal with the overwhelming hurt at the time.  As we talked she realized how close she came to doing this with her new friend merely out of a gut reaction regardless of how big or small the hurt was. As it turned out, there was a hurt, but it certainly wasn’t intentional. Our daughter had learned a coping mechanism when she was younger and could have just replayed the scenario without much thought.

Fortunately, she has also developed some amazing new habits as she has grown into a young adult, and one of those is to take weighty situations in life like this to God in prayer. As she spent time over a few days praying over the situation and searching God’s Word for guidance, and seeking counsel of good Christian friends, she gently heard God coaxing her through resolution.

Speed ahead a week, and she and her friend were able to sit down and graciously talk over the incident and ended the conversation with a prayer of thanksgiving that their friendship was stronger than ever and they were both able to see the value each other placed on their amazing friendship.

2 Corinthians 5:17

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

The caveat here is being “in” Christ, not just knowing of Him. We have to be an active part here by continually turning to God for our help.

In this New Year we can slow down after the holiday rush and take an inward look. What can we work on this year that will enrich our lives and those around us? One of Rod’s points in last week’s messages we can make changes and heal past wounds easier if we ask for God’s help.  Let’s be intentional and invite the Holy Spirit to walk with us in this endeavor.

Join us again this Sunday, January 12, as Pastor Rod continues the series “Beyond Childish Ways” as he looks at a destructive childhood motto that influences our life as adults: “Measuring Up”.